Recently I have found myself answering the question "how have you been?".... with the most cliche answer in the book: "I've been busy." I almost cringe when I say it because I think answering that question with the word is too often just an automatic, thoughtless response that most of us give. Lately, however, thats been the most accurate way to describe the current season that I have been in.
I see myself as a juggler. I recently experienced a job change and am working on starting up my own interior design business here in Nashville (formal announcement to come - stay tuned, its still a pretty humble operation at this point, but an exciting one at that!). In the meantime I am freelancing, taking photos, and nannying part time while building my own client base and vendor relationships as well as trying to navigate the unfamiliar territory I like to call legal paperwork.... as far as the eye can see and in every direction. Ha! Juggling is what it feels like. Doing a little of everything and not holding onto any one "ball" for very long.
There is a lot of comfort that I take in "juggling" in that I just keep passing each ball. It doesnt have to all look perfect and I dont need to have the exact answer to everything, just keep rolling with the opportunities that the Lord brings my way and trust that he'll provide what I need when that particular ball comes back around.
But mostly the juggling has shown me how much I need the Lord to be the author of my story and how significant community is in my life. I was recently talking to my mom about loneliness and how juggling so many things professionally was making me feel like I couldn't ever drop the ball. I've got to take care of my business stuff, no one else can do that for me, but man... wouldn't it be nice if someone else was home to cook dinner, or care for Lacy, or help with groceries, or clean the house, and the list goes on. The truth is, it would be so nice to have someone supporting me in those ways, I miss it, but I have started to gain a new perspective on life and what it means to juggle. I have some non-negotiable (I cant give up my time in the WOrd, I wont stop taking care of Lacy... I need to pay my bills) but its ok to leave something undone, or take a time out when we need it - I cant do it all. The Lord is in control. He wants us to live full, rich lives and sometimes that requires a season of plenty and sometimes not. But not matter the season God is in it, with me, leading me.
ONe thing I ask the Lord in prayer a lot lately is that he would stay 2 steps ahead of me. Close enough that I can still see him, but out in front, leading the way and preparing the path before me. If I drop a ball, God's already got it. Life will be ok... its an adventure after all. One that is ever changing, which is part of the beauty if you ask me.