Have you ever been in a season of life that you didn't necessarily like.... but the waiting seemed to drag on and on? Well I've been in a season like that for about the past 2 years. Don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of great things in my life and so much to be thankful for... but the past couple years have also been a huge challenge. Along with trips to Napa and starting my own business, I have had to reinvent my life and learn to take care of myself amidst some really devastating circumstances. Some of the changes have been fun and some of the changes have thrown me off and left me heartbroken and disappointed. So what do you do when life disappoints you and you are left waiting for something to shake loose and the new season to get here already?
Well, I definitely wouldn't say that I have a magic answer to the question above, but I can tell you what the Lord has shown me through the waiting. I was talking with a friend earlier this week about focusing on the positive things in life rather than the negative. I believe it is an active choice to look at life in a glass half full kind of way. A choice that, for some reason, doesn't always come naturally- even for optimists like me.
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." - Philippians 4:8
This really hit home for me a couple weeks ago. I was feeling worn out from juggling so many things on my own and feeling pretty lonely and hopeless about my current phase in life. I never anticipated to be single, divorced, starting a business and nannying at 29. Nope. I figured by now I would be happily married, in a starter home with a baby on the way... but I'm not. When I look at the big picture of my life I can so easily hone in on all the "missing pieces" that leave me feeling lonely and disheartened, but the truth is that when I zoom in a little and focus on the smaller, more present things in life.... there is a lot of beauty between those missing pieces.
I'm a nanny. I keep the most amazing, beautiful, loving, sweet, hilarious, rambunctious 2-year-olds in the world, and although they are no substitute for the family and the children of my own that I hope to have one day I love those kids as much as I know how. I get to spend my days outside when I am playing with the kids. I'm getting to go to the beach with their family. I started a business this year. My days are crazy, but flexible. I get to take girls trips and have sleepovers with my best friend Whitney because she is right next door. Things could be worse.
Life isn't where I hoped it would be at this point, but it'll get there one day. And when that day comes I'll have new things to celebrate, but I'll have to give up some of the best parts of life now. It's all a trade off, but there is good in every season.... we just have to zoom in a little sometimes to see it.