Every now and then I like to interrupt your regularly scheduled dose of design insight and inspiration to fill y’all in on something personal. Usually, its a way for me share something that I have been learning and (hopefully) to connect with a few of you and realize that we all go through the ups and downs of life together - which I hope is the case today.
As many of you know, and some of you may not, the past 5 years or so for me has been chock full of big life changes and trials. It seems like every year has had its own individual hurtle to overcome whether that was starting life over for myself, starting my business (scary!) or making a big move to a new city. Each new challenge came with its own set of fears, doubts, frustrations, hurts… you know the drill. I felt like when I would finally have an end in sight from one hurtle, the next would start forming - which in some ways is just how life goes sometimes. But it was wearing me out and each year I would ask the Lord when my “season of celebration” would come. A season in which life felt more like the pieces fit and the regular parts of life didn’t require so much courage and perseverance.
Well, God, in his goodness has been gracious enough to “give me a break” finally. Ha! By no means would I say that life is perfect or completely figured out and there are still soooo many uncertainties that I am waiting on. For example: business has been really steady lately, which is a huge blessing, but I am trusting Him that it will continue to grow. But the “big ticket” items in life feel a bit more settled and fun, which ironically has left me feeling a little more disconnected with the Lord…. has this happened to anyone else?
When I was walking through the bigger trials I felt as though the Lord was my lifeline. At times He seemed like the only thing that I could count on. Even during the seasons in which I hated him (oops - but true) due to my circumstances, He and I were in the thick of it together - everyday, all day. Scripture felt rich and so did my prayer time. I have seen first hand the way the Lord has made beauty from ashes and been amazed and encouraged as I look back.
But then here I am in my “sweet spot” that I have been praying for and feeling a bit like “Lord, where did you go?” I don’t want the trials back… but I miss how close the Lord and I have been in the past during those seasons. It punctuates the realization that trials are good for us at times and that God never lets pain go to waste. But those lessons that I have learned in the valley I don’t want to lose sight of now. I want my walk to be equally close to the Lord and learn to lean on him when things are easier too. A friend of mine recently said this quote to me: “you can’t build a roof in the rain" meaning you need to build your roof when the sun is out so that when the rain (inevitably) comes you will be protected. I know this as well as anyone and my challenge now will be to put it into practice. I am thankful for this sweet season of life and hope that it lasts a long time. I know each and every part of it is a provision and gift from the Lord - and my prayer is that He will teach me how to walk side by side with him in the sunshine too.